Sunday

I never got around to working out yesterday or today.  We had a lot going on, and plus, I just didn’t feel like it.  I’m going to resume exercising tomorrow. 

I’m finding that I need to renew my focus, so that I don’t forget my real goals.  I’ve definitely made some progress, to where some of the clothes that were too tight are now comfortable.  A couple of items are downright loose.  This is a great feeling.  But my goal is so much more than just to be able to once again wear my old “fat clothes” (which had become too tight).  I want to be in the 150s, so that I can have fun with stylish clothes and actually feel “slim” again.

And the only way I’m going to reach this goal is to maintain a more legalistic attitude toward what I do.  I’ve allowed myself to slip over the past couple of weekends.  This weekend wasn’t so much my fault.  I’m still quite upset over the inaccurate Red Robin Whiskey River BBQ Chicken Wrap information at thedailyplate.com, so much so that I actually went to their site and submitted a revision for that incorrect entry.  Here I “sacrificed” and ordered that wrap instead of a cheeseburger because I thought the cheeseburger (at 950 calories) was much more fattening than the wrap (at, supposedly, 390 calories).  Turns out that the wrap is 1050 calories!  Unbelievable.

Anyway…I really blew it at Outback, and then I unintentionally blew it yesterday at Red Robin.  Today I’d vowed to be better.  After church, when my husband asked me what I wanted to do for lunch, I said I was committed to just going home and having one of my soups and some veggies, since I really wanted to “get back on track” today.

He took me at my word and picked up KFC for himself and the kids.  But, would you know, the kids got a family-sized Popcorn Chicken.  And once again, I allowed myself a nibble.  It was delicious.  The door of my cheatin’ thoughts opened just a crack, and I began rationalizing.  I went to KFC’s own website and looked up the nutritional info for Popcorn Chicken.  (Not trusting thedailyplate anymore!!)  Turns out that a reasonable portion of Popcorn Chicken is only about 400 calories.  A gazillion grams of fat, but…

Like I said, once I’d opened the door just a tiny crack in my thoughts, that was all it took for Crazed Addict Fatgirl to come around with her rationalizations.  I decided in a moment that I could “spare” the additional 200 calories to have Popcorn Chicken instead of soup.

I’m not beating myself up about this, mind you - I don’t really regret it terribly.  But I do regret that slipshod mindset, because once I can “get away with” this sort of cheating, even on a small scale, I’m worried that I might make a habit of it.

The funny thing was, Popcorn Chicken doesn’t really taste that good after the first couple of pieces.  I think it is so much more incredible when it’s a forbidden food.  It left me feeling sort of leaden and gross the rest of the day, even though I didn’t have that terribly much.

Here’s what I ate today:

Cereal combo of 3/4 cup Smart Start with 1/2 cup Fiber One (220); milk (90); broccoli (70); Popcorn Chicken (400); green beans (100); Lean Cuisine (220); milk (90); dried plums (200).  (Yes, I am utterly hooked on “dried plums” - which are also known as prunes - because they are very sweet, go well with coffee, and just are…weirdly satisfying.  Go figure.)

Total:  1,390.