My Super Sweet 25th

MTV recently had a gift to give to give an less fortunate 16 year old. one whose parents are just *gasp* middle class. They gave away a super awesome party to a super awesome underprivelaged kid. Where was that when i was growing up? All i got for being underprivelaged was a trip to Disneyland for Mickey’s birthday and a complex for shopping at Payless.  All the charity ended for me at the the ripe age of 13.

I don’t even think I got a 16 party. I never even got to cry at one. But at that time I wasn’t shallow like those kids on t.v. are now. I was too happy giving away burritos to the poor. I was a philathropists guided by the Holy Spirit. And by the time i traded in my True Love waits ring for secret tequlia shots at my 18th birthday. I even knew that a party without bling is no party at all. Which might explain why i left my own 4 hours early.

But not now. I am shallow as any 16 year old girl. I want my vindication. I want my birthday to be filled with more than scrapped knees and broken champagne flutes. Come on this is me were talking about. A beautiful Mexican blogger whose occasional attempts at bifocles make here a shoe in for Americas Next top Jeanine Garfalo. Hello Ratings.

My Super sweet 25th. MTV it just rolls off the tongue. After this year I think I’m officially too old to be in your demographic.But here me out.

The theme Troop Beverly Hills.

It can be set at Tori Spellings b and b. I know she needs ratings. But if thats too much because cable network conflict of interests. We can set it at Downtown Fullerton, Home of Johnny Bananas of Real World fame. He could invite his friends i know they’re dying for camera time.

My moms free. And being from the O.C. I have no reservations for cussing her out just for breathing. And she’ll call me a drunk. And the intro can say Mother Knows best as she call me fat in Nordstroms and if thats not enough shell even say hell no very loud in a mexican accent as she reads the price tag of the new Marc Jacobs dress.

I can see it now. I’ll have drag queens who dress up like Shelly Long and that women who played Rosario who serve caviar and girl scout cookies on a platter. And then in a prius limo we’ll go to peoples houses Craig T. Nelson as he hands out invites that are actually- get this- sashes with a patch that has to be sewn on properly to get in.And i would get on stage in one of those hideous Heatherette outfits as i replayed the token black girl’s  dance. and the decor would look like the beverly hills Hilton and all the bartenders will wear blue feathers. there’s so much freaking potential I am going to blow. But the real chocolate on the smore would be Jenny Lewis on stage singing do the freddy….indie orgasm.

Plus there would be no need for a car cause i don’t drive.

But maybe not. I know it might lose ratings because there is no room for frat boys in cowboy hats or a strategically placed panic at the disco song.

But I’m still shopping. I’ll take a knock off show…Fuse, NBC, E!, anyone?